Saturday, January 4, 2014


The reason I said I was going to post my New Year weight on here is that I think it helps me to be accountable. If I hide something that I'm not proud of and avoid talking /writing about it I don't just see it as something private but as something shameful - for instance, when I first started binge eating I didn't tell anyone and tried to cover it up, spiralling into a cycle that was really hard to break out of - one which I only broke out of when I finally told M what was going on. I'm not saying gaining a bit of weight is something I feel that strongly about NOW, just that it's a pattern I've been in and don't want to revisit. Having said all that, I really don't want to type in this number and I came prepared with excuses (I'm constipated - true, I'm retaining water due to carbs - probably true, but I'm the one who ate them, etc etc)
but here it is: 164.5 lbs. My ideal weight, I've decided, would be 146 lbs so actually the right digits are there, but they're in the wrong order ;-)
So now I know what I have to do and how big the job is. You can't get where you need to go if you don't know where you're starting out!!!
Wish me luck....

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