Wednesday, March 26, 2014


Thanks Deniz for your congrats - sadly they came just as I was bingeing due to continued depression combined with the hormonal upheavals of TTOM, stomach cramps & diarrhea... Sorry to disappoint!

I worked from home today so I could let in a BT engineer to upgrade our broadband. He was due between 8 am and 1pm and of course I expected him to come at 12:59 pm, but amazingly he arrived about 8:20 and was gone in about 15 minutes - much better!

Unfortunately once that was out of the way my mood plummeted and by about 11:30 I was counting the minutes to lunchtime so I could buy some comfort food. I started with a massive chocolate milkshake and carried on from there... I wonder actually if I was feeling a little bit anaemic as well as just greedy - look at my lunch & you'll see why! The tiny positive I do get from my behaviour is at least I still went out for a bit of a walk - I'm so not enjoying it right now (too much time to think) that it almost feels like a punishment, but today it offset at least 2 or 3 mouthfuls of my binge. Even if it was specifically for the purpose of buying the binge food in the first case.

Food today:
Breakfast: smoothie of spinach,coconut milk, frozen banana & blueberries + avocado
Lunch: small rump steak with lemon garlic spinach
Dinner: Chinese roast bbq pork with veg and big dollops of zingy ginger dressing
Snacks: milkshake, 2 gf muffins, dried fruit

PS I know it's really annoying of me to mention a horrible thing and not tell you what it was, I nearly just pretended that 3 days didn't pass without a post and carried on as if nothing happened... But I'm so grumpy depressed and generally miserable right now I figured inflicting myself on the web with NO explanation was just as unfair, and staying off, well, I guess I need you anyway...

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