Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Dragging....

I've given up on cutting down the caffeine so dramatically. It wasn't noticeably helping me to sleep better, but was giving me issues with being able to stay alert & productive at work, which I can't afford. So I'm having one full caff coffee in the mornings - 1 mug, not one cup - and even though I'm still knackered I'm not feeling as depressed or dragged down as I was. Though still pretty knackered.

After work today I finally managed to drag myself out for a walk into town. It was at most 2 miles, but compared to my recent record of approximately 0.6 miles it felt pretty good. I can't say I enjoyed it much - the weather was dreary and my mood matched it - but I did go. I really can't believe how hard I'm finding it at the moment. I always struggle to bother looking after myself properly when I'm depressed and going for walks definitely falls into the category of looking after myself, so I guess that's why. I still haven't been contacted by the eye hospital for my op or even a pre op check up, and the silence is getting to me... I really don't want the op obviously, but waiting to hear is proving quite hard to take. Even if they gave me a date several weeks in the future it would be better than nothing. (I'd like to believe that the delay proves I'm not too far progressed and have little to worry about, but with everything I've heard / read /experienced about the general incompetence of the NHS makes it seem more likely they've forgotten about me, and will only remember after I lose the sight in my eye... Or I chase them after the 2 months are up)

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs scrambled with coconut oil, leek, mushrooms & a tiny bit of tomato
Lunch: chicken & vegetable soup
Dinner: mutton stew with sweet potato noodles
Snacks: cashews, coconut flakes, dried fruit

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