Friday, April 10, 2015


I would love to be sweetness and light today following yesterday's darkness and rage, but nothing has changed and in fact sleeping badly due to feeling all that fury only exacerbated things.
For the first time in weeks I wanted to binge this morning - not on anything specific, no cravings, I just wanted the familiar distraction and comfort of eating food that would bloat me up and ultimately piss me off even more, thereby satisfying this weird self-destructive impulse I sometimes have.

I didn't.

(Although it's lucky that no-one bought cake in, if they had I might have grabbed the whole thing and made a run for it. And trampled anyone in my path.)

At lunchtime I went for a fairly short walk to get a snack and the weather did cheer me up a bit - as I walked along in a t-shirt and jeans with no coat in sight ;-) but it was over too quickly, although I didn't know about the pollution issue before I went out so it's probably a good thing. As I was walking back to the office a sky rat chose to relieve itself over my arm and now I want a gun. A specific pigeon gun - I didn't see it but I'm pretty sure it was a pigeon. It always is. Luckily it landed on my bare arm rather than my clothes so I could wipe it off using the carrier bag I was holding then wash my arm with half a bottle of hand-wash as soon as I got indoors. While plotting the deaths of every pigeon in the South East to make sure I get the guilty party.
It's possible I have anger issues.
No, I think that's a perfectly reasonable response. What are pigeons for anyway?

Food today:
Breakfast: protein chia pudding
Lunch: Chicken and mushroom soup
Dinner: burger in a bunch. A bun!!!
This bun to be precise - and it was amazing. (and purple)
Snacks: hard boiled egg, Pork scratchings

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