Really?

I have a cold sore at the moment. It's not a big deal except when I want to kiss someone, but it's also the third time in the past 4 months or so, where usually I get them once or twice a year - usually the onset of winter when my lips get chapped by the cold weather,  and occasionally if I spend too long in the summer sun. I was thinking, though,  when I spotted it,  that my immune system has gone to crap since going low carb /Paleo - I've had infected lymph nodes (twice although I only whinged on about it once), ear infections,  cold sores,  and I'm still feeling like I have a cold although it still hasn't developed beyond feeling constantly congested. And then I thought maybe I should just go back to eating the way I used to while losing weight, screw gluten free and low carb - laxatives are cheaper than antibiotics. But then I thought again. Immune system struggling - yes, definitely.  I've never been so unhealthy so much in my life. But blaming it on low carb? The truth is I've not been genuinely low carb since my eye operation in MAY, when I started comfort eating Krispy Kreme doughnuts while being self pitying and stuck in enforced idleness for 3 weeks. Which means I have been telling myself I'm eating low carb while being more or less high-refined-carb FOR NEARLY 6 MONTHS. And not very gluten free either. How did that happen? And if you're thinking "well, duh"... why didn't you tell me? Only joking, it's no-one's fault except mine. But damn. 
So no, I am not switching back to calorie counting while eating whatever I can squeeze into my allowance. Or trying to be a gf Paleo vegetarian (which I was also thinking about this morning). But gf and low carb - yes, that I will do,  because I felt so much better doing it before. I expect it will be hard going since I'll need to detox again. How stupid am I? Sigh. Obviously I wasn't kidding myself that I was doing well at the moment,  but I really hadn't realised how long it's been going on for. 
Well, anyway. 
Yesterday was a low carb day. 
Today was a low carb day. And I did push ups today (20 only,  but still - that's 20 more than I've done in - maybe a year?) and walked 2 miles at lunchtime. Feels good.

Food today :
Breakfast: egg and bacon salad with homemade mayo, romaine lettuce and tomatoes 
Lunch: homemade soup 
Dinner: Bolognese sauce on savoy cabbage noodles 
Snacks : Greek yogurt and a banana (I know banana isn't low carb but it was eaten as a whole fruit in hopes it would help sort out my constipation. And it did) 

Ups and downs

This weekend was yet another carb fest.  Maybe it's the cold weather,  maybe it's a vitamin D deficiency as I'm out of supplements at the moment,  or maybe I'm just completely hooked on the sweet stuff again - only not just sweetness, I also had a sausage roll and some artisan bread... Whatever the cause I know I have to do something about it.  I'm feeling bloated and I'm constipated... And I'm feeling resolved to act at last.  I know I've said similar things a million times and have no reason to feel that this time will be different, but I do feel like it's coming from a slightly different, slightly healthier place this time - not a knee jerk 'I'm disgusting and pathetic and need to be punished by never eating anything good again,' more an 'I don't feel healthy, strong or well and I do deserve to feel those things' place.  Who knows how long it will last? Not me - but if I don't make a start it definitely won't happen. 
I'm not prioritising weight loss for the moment,  just health and control. I've done it before and I can do it again. I can...

On a more cheerful note I have been trying to rediscover the love of cooking the last few weekends and haven't told you about it because I don't post on weekends... The last three weekends I've been cooking from my favourite cookbook, a book called 1000 Classic Chinese Recipes.  I've been following one familiar recipe and one totally new recipe to give a sort of Chinese takeaway eaten family style feel, and really have enjoyed it. So I'm continuing that as a weekly treat meal. So far I've cooked Asian Peanut Butter Pork (from crockpot365.blogspot. com not my cookbook) and red-cooked chicken; served leftover peanut butter Pork alongside chicken livers with bamboo shoots & water chestnuts; and on Saturday I did maple barbecued spare ribs (except I used belly pork strips instead of ribs) and hot chilli-chicken. 
Over the weekend I walked about 6 miles on Saturday and 4 on Sunday,  enjoying the absolutely perfect winter sunshine (while doing my weekly shop on foot instead of car).  I also worked for a bit yesterday, and then we watched The Desolation of Smaug - and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Food today :
Breakfast: Chicken leg with tomatoes 
Lunch: homemade soup & natural yogurt 
Dinner: lamb's heart in Sweet and Sour Sauce. With zoodles. 
Snacks : cashews, 2 roast chicken wings 

Twist Series: Conditioning and Re-Twisting

1. Do you treat the twists as you would your normal detangled hair when washing/co-washing? i.e wash -> deep condition -> LOC method. 

My answer: Yes, I do.  (Backtrack: "Twist Series: Washing & Matting".)  After washing, I apply conditioner to my twists down to my ends.  I let the conditioner sit for however long (15-45 minutes) and then rinse.  When rinsing, it helps to squeeze my twists in order to squeeze out most of the conditioner.  I then plop my hair to help it air dry and moisturize + seal.
If my hair is not that dirty and/or I want to preserve the "neatness" of my twists a little longer, I sometimes use this washing method instead.  For this latter washing method, it is very important that I use thoroughly diluted shampoo rather than shampoo alone.

2. How do you re-do the twists you mentioned? Do you unravel, detangle, re-twist and then wash all of them or do you wash first then unravel and re-twist? 

My answer: I wash them first, allow them to air dry to about 60-80%, then unravel and re-twist them. When un-raveling them, I also make sure to remove any shed hair.

"Soul" Food Sunday || That Breath ...

Goodish news

Apparently my eye is probably not about to fall out / explode,  that's good isn't it?
It seems that the achy / pressure sensation I was having was down to the vitreous fluid pulling the retina,  which it is not supposed to do,  and the new floaters were caused by this pulling actually pulling off some of the pigment cells.  Bit revolting,  but not in itself dangerous.  There is a slight chance that it could result in another detachment so I have a follow-up appointment in a couple of weeks to check it isn't progressing,  plus another reminder to come straight back if the symptoms get worse,  but it's not currently worrying.  The consultant seemed very very thorough,  studying it for what seemed like ages with 2 different lenses,  so I'm sure she would have spotted any hint of a detachment or tear.  So I can relax now. Although relaxed is not how I felt during the regulation 2 hours hanging around the casualty waiting room roasting to death and wondering if I'd been forgotten.  Ah well,  over now - at least for a fortnight.

AGAIN???

I spent this morning in the eye casualty department at the Royal Berkshire.  It was just as much fun as the last time I spent hours sitting on an uncomfortable chair with dilated pupils and my kindle font size so big it could only display 8 words per page.
Turns out I have a bleed in my eye of unknown origin and will be going back on Thursday for a consult with the surgical retina specialist (today it was a medical retina specialist - and no,  I don't know what the difference is.

As always when I have this kind of issue my food wasn't  stellar but I didn't binge exactly...  Comfort eating yes,  but bingeing no.
And I got my hospital visit 4 miles walk in too. Although the weather was rubbish.  Which was a good thing on the way home with my scarily dilated demon eyes sucking in every bit of ambient light.

Panicking a little bit

I had a lovely day on Saturday visiting my Mum & her other half, with some walking and a lot of talking, plenty of motherly hugs and relaxation. My brother came over as well so we had a good chat. I went on the train again and this time they ran on time with no cancellations so it was all good and much less tiring than last time. 
Yesterday I had trouble getting up after a restless night - eventually dragging myself out of bed at about 6am and jumping head first into a massive mug of coffee. I didn't really wake up till I went for a walk mid-morning, but six miles later I finally felt fairly alert (and with a couple of blisters to help me stay awake). In the afternoon we watched the ridiculous movie Riddick and then a ton of TV,  after which I went to bed with a headache and a million painkillers. I slept really well after that though! 
Over the weekend I ate some naughty things and definitely overate, but didn't actually binge at any point and consider that a minor success. 
Less positively I've been having some concerns about my eye for the last week or so. First it started aching again, feeling a bit like it did later in the post op healing stages,  but as I was feeling congested and sinusy I didn't worry too much.  Yesterday I noticed new floaters and today my vision in that eye seems a bit foggy.  I'm famous for hypochondria and I'm sure any longer term readers recall that I was paranoid about complications at the time, so I hope I'm just worrying about nothing but given the high incidence of cataracts following surgery, as well the possibility of further detachments, I don't want to risk it. Not to mention that getting the all clear would just make me feel better straight away. So I have an appointment at the Royal Berkshire tomorrow morning to get it checked out. 

Food today :
Breakfast: Gammon, mushroom & leek scrambled eggs 
Lunch: homemade soup 
Dinner: big salad with tuna mayo 
Snacks: homemade pork rinds & cashews