Damn

No. Sleep. Last night. Making this morning an unfunny comedy of errors. I forgot my lunch & breakfast,remembered 2 streets from home and went back for it, spilled breakfast all over the car (luckily it was the eggs which fell, and they didn't break) drove to work miraculously incident-free, reached work, dropped the Tupperware box containing my breakfast again, this time one egg did break but luckily the box seal held so it stayed inside... Making coffee (always my first job in the morning) I dropped bags of coffee grounds on the floor, sprayed water all over the kitchen, and generally klutzed my way around. Coffee helped but not that much... Left to myself I would have worked from home to minimize the risk of exposing my clumsiness to everyone but for once I had some testing that had to be done today and required me to be in the office. I spent the rest of the morning keeping my head down and my mouth shut to avoid attention :-)
I couldn't sleep because I was hungry, and stayed hungry even though I waited for 20 minutes, then 40, 60... Eventually, around 1am, I did get up for something to eat, had some Greek yoghurt and went back to bed. I didn't binge or go back for more, and I did stay in bed until I'd decided what to have then leave the kitchen so I wouldn't look for anything else. I don't know if that qualifies as mindfulness but its as close to it as I seem able to get, and after that I managed at least a fitful doze till around 3:30. I was actually pleased with some of what I did there. I would have preferred not to need a snack, but I guess that I didn't eat enough during the day for walking and training as well, and it was definitely better to try not to rather than jump in, but later make a reasoned decision to eat something so I might get some sleep than to splurge on everything I could find. I do need to eat enough as well as not eat too much after all...
If there was ever a day that a refreshing walk might have saved me today was that day.... and so of course it rained at lunchtime. Hmph. I did go out, primarily for some Nytol, but it was straight out and straight back, no relaxation, no fun, no exploration. Sigh. Just a very small disruption to a crappy work day full of stress, guilt, blame... Oh well, its over now and as I discovered today I will almost certainly not be renewed, only about 7 weeks more to suffer through...
After work I followed my plan for 10 minutes intense followed by 30 slightly less intense minutes and felt good, so tomorrow it should be a 15/25 split. And I am ecstatic to report no binge - or desire to binge - in response to my rubbish hamster in a wheel day. Yay!

Food today:
Breakfast: eggs micro-scrambled with roast gammon, a little onion, and some very ripe (very cheap) tomatoes
Lunch: ham salad
Dinner: coconut heart stew (leftovers!) with cauliflower rice
Snack: cheddar, cashew nuts